First of all, I realize it has been about forever and a day since I last wrote. Like almost a year. Sorry about that. :-)
I'm sitting here tonight with a heavy heart...for tomorrow my baby girl is starting kindergarten. You'd think 5 years would be enough time to prepare for this moment, but can we ever really and truly prepare for this? I've been spending the past few days going through her curriculum, planning her lessons, and going shopping for her school supplies. She is so giddy to start...and her Mama's heart is breaking.
For you see, it was just yesterday that the nurse handed her to me for the very first time. I held my baby girl in my arms and things like kindergarten and bike rides and sleepovers seemed a million years away. I thought this moment would never get here. And yet here we are.
But it was just yesterday that she learned to crawl and gained her independence. At that moment, she was starting to grow up, but I didn't realize it. I just marked it in her baby book and rolled on with life.
It was just yesterday that she took her first steps. Her bare little feet gripped the floor and she took those wobbly movements. She was so proud of herself, and we were so very proud of her. I thought, "Now my life will get a little easier without a little one to carry around!" I was so very foolish.
It was just yesterday that she started talking in complete sentences. She was hilarious, and we took little videos of her babbling away. Again, she was taking another step in life but we didn't really see it.
It was just yesterday that she became a big sister. She was "Mommy's little helper" and wanted to be involved in every single thing. She took her role seriously (and still does) and suddenly she wasn't a baby anymore. A little piece of my heart broke but life was just so busy...
Time marched on and another baby was added to the family. Days were filled with diaper changes and laundry and cleaning and a multitude of responsibilities...and we were marching ever closer to this big day but we didn't take notice.
And now tonight, my little baby girl is laying in her bed, excited to start her new chapter in life and begin her education. I'm not ready. I am so mad that I let all of those moments slip past me. How true are the words from "Mamma Mia"....
"Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time."
