First of all, I realize it has been about forever and a day since I last wrote. Like almost a year. Sorry about that. :-)
I'm sitting here tonight with a heavy heart...for tomorrow my baby girl is starting kindergarten. You'd think 5 years would be enough time to prepare for this moment, but can we ever really and truly prepare for this? I've been spending the past few days going through her curriculum, planning her lessons, and going shopping for her school supplies. She is so giddy to start...and her Mama's heart is breaking.
For you see, it was just yesterday that the nurse handed her to me for the very first time. I held my baby girl in my arms and things like kindergarten and bike rides and sleepovers seemed a million years away. I thought this moment would never get here. And yet here we are.
But it was just yesterday that she learned to crawl and gained her independence. At that moment, she was starting to grow up, but I didn't realize it. I just marked it in her baby book and rolled on with life.
It was just yesterday that she took her first steps. Her bare little feet gripped the floor and she took those wobbly movements. She was so proud of herself, and we were so very proud of her. I thought, "Now my life will get a little easier without a little one to carry around!" I was so very foolish.
It was just yesterday that she started talking in complete sentences. She was hilarious, and we took little videos of her babbling away. Again, she was taking another step in life but we didn't really see it.
It was just yesterday that she became a big sister. She was "Mommy's little helper" and wanted to be involved in every single thing. She took her role seriously (and still does) and suddenly she wasn't a baby anymore. A little piece of my heart broke but life was just so busy...
Time marched on and another baby was added to the family. Days were filled with diaper changes and laundry and cleaning and a multitude of responsibilities...and we were marching ever closer to this big day but we didn't take notice.
And now tonight, my little baby girl is laying in her bed, excited to start her new chapter in life and begin her education. I'm not ready. I am so mad that I let all of those moments slip past me. How true are the words from "Mamma Mia"....
"Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time."
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
The Arrival of Levi - Part #2
Once the c-section was scheduled in, I went on an absolute starvation diet. Since I had had a light lunch (and I actually gave over half of it to Rich...so then I REALLY wished I had chowed down!), I had to wait 8 hours from when I ate, which was noon. I was not allowed to have ANYTHING...food, water, ice, even gum or mints. Of course, nothing makes you more thirsty than being told, "You can have nothing for the next 5 hours!"
I thought I'd be more nervous, but I wasn't. As the time drew closer to surgery, I sent Rich to grab a quick bite of supper so he'd be stable with blood sugar for the surgery. I lay there, trying NOT to be jealous that he was feasting while I was starving. Around 7:30, when I was supposed to be getting prepped for surgery, we were told that there was a woman in labor next door to me that had been pushing for 2 hours and was nearing that "emergency c-section" stage of the game. I totally understood but was still a bit bummed that we'd have to wait. Our hospital has 2 O.R.s specifically for c-sections but they always keep one open when doing a "scheduled" c-section in case of an emergency, so this emergency c-section would tie up the "open" room. Time ticked on. Of course, as luck would have it, I started to contract every 2 minutes right around 8 p.m. It became quite uncomfortable as they came crashing in one on top of the other and growing in intensity with each minute. Especially disheartening is when you know you are contracting and it will NOT yield a baby. I grew nervous b/c if I progressed rapidly with him still breech, we were in danger of the cord being delivered. The nurse came in and quickly gave me meds to STOP contracting - a first for me. At this time, I also started to become increasingly nauseated. My 39 weeks of nausea was getting OLD, and I knew I was going to continue to feel nasty until I was allowed to drink or eat something. When my stomach is empty while pregnant, I start to vomit repeatedly until I can pop meds and some crackers and water. That wasn't an option. Finally, after ANOTHER emergency c-section that went ahead of me, we were prepped for surgery. Rich was given his scrubs and I was escorted to the O.R. It was a little after 10 p.m. Walking to the O.R. was one of the weirdest feelings in the world. I felt like it was a cross between a bad dream and a television show. I have NEVER had surgery...in fact, the only times I've ever been a patient in a hospital is when I had Cae and Matty, and I had certainly never seen an operating room except on t.v. As we walked into the room, I was starting to get nervous. Seeing such a sterile, COLD (holy cow, was it FREEZING in there!), huge room with a bed in the middle, bright lights, and tables of sharp looking instruments started to make the heart pound. Maybe I wasn't as "mentally/emotionally prepared" as I thought?
Thankfully, my doctors (there were 2 in there), nurses, and anesthesiologist was AWESOME. I almost giggled - they had their own music playlist going, and I got my spinal block to the Black Eyed Peas singing. Later it went to Taylor Swift and when they were delivering Levi, it was Sarah McClaughlin's "I Will Remember You" crooning (actually caught part of it on video when Rich videotaped Levi being pulled out). Thankfully the spinal block IMMEDIATELY started making me feel all warm and cozy - I could hardly get fully on the table before everything went numb. The nerves started to calm and they continued to prep for surgery while I waited for Rich to come. Just as the nurse said, "if you start to feel nauseated..." I immediately felt like, "OH NO! I'm going to HURL!" She barely got the puke dish there in time. I threw up twice before the rapid injection of anti-nausea meds kicked in. Funny thing...right before my surgery, they gave me this NASTY stuff to drink that was supposed to keep me from vomiting. Guess what I threw up? Yep...those meds. :-) They started to infuse my I.V. with stronger anti-nausea meds...but the bad side effect was that they made me SUPER tired and loopy. I almost fell asleep before Rich came in. I could tell he was nervous - he doesn't do well with needles, blood, etc... so this was totally out of his league. I kept telling him in the room before they took me away, "Babe, PLEASE don't look. Don't stand up or anything...they will tell you when Levi is ready to come out so you can capture that but don't look!"
Then, as soon as Rich was seated, the procedure began. My last worry melted away when they cut into me and I felt nothing but what felt like someone rubbing my stomach. It seems like it didn't take very long at all before they had him. He was so far up that they were REALLY tugging to get him out - I thought I was going to fall off of the table! they finally got him out and we heard this tiny little squeak of a cry...then silence. It was 11:04 p.m...just 56 minutes away from being born on my beloved aunt's birthday! ;-)
They brought Levi past us and showed him to us briefly before taking him to the warmer that was still in my line of vision. He looked so different than my other babies b/c he was covered in blood and so still! We asked, "Is he okay?" b/c he was so very limp. As he lay there on the warmer, unmoving, I started to get a little nervous but no one was rushing, no codes were being called (like what happened with Caelynn's arrival)...then they brought out a little oxgyen pump, covered his mouth with the mouth piece, and started pumping air into him. I wanted to cry seeing his little chest rise and fall...and then we saw him start to twitch and then the crying started. :-) Such a beautiful cry! He didn't stop for quite some time - he was MAD! :-) I felt such relief and such overwhelming fatigue that I closed my eyes and dozed off until they had him all cleaned up. Then they brought him over and let Rich hold him while I rubbed his cheeks and gave him kisses. During this time I also threw up again once or twice - blast this cursed sensitive stomach of mine!
Soon it was time for him to go to the nursery for all of the fun stuff like weighing him, cleaning him up more fully, and getting a small feeding since I couldn't nurse him until after I made it through recovery and was back in my room. That was probably the hardest part of having a c-section. I missed being able to hold my baby right away, but I was so thankful that they let Rich go with Levi so at least one of us was still with him! My secret worry during the c-section was that his lungs wouldn't be quite stable enough and thus have to go to the NICU as some babies do. Praise the Lord that Levi was healthy and well!
After the final stitch up on the inside and being "glued" on the outside, I went to recovery, where of course I threw up a few more times and also slept. I made it back to my room and back to Levi around 1 a.m. or so. That time of seeing him was so sweet!
I won't bore anyone with the recovery part of the c-section. That Saturday was hard - I felt really lousy and wasn't able to move my legs or feet for quite some time and when I finally could and they had me try to get out of bed and on my feet, I wanted to punch someone. By the next day, though, I felt MUCH better. I was by myself a lot of the day while Rich went to pick up our kids and took care of them before coming to visit so I was on my own more with taking care of Levi. By Sunday, I wanted to go home. I was actually medically cleared to leave, as was Levi, so we went home a day earlier than scheduled. I don't rest well in the hospital. It's bad enough being up so often to nurse a baby but when you finally get to sleep, only to be interrupted by a nurse or orderly to get blood drawn or check on the baby, it makes resting almost impossible.
The past 2 weeks have been super busy with going from a family of 4 to a family of 5, recovering from a c-section (still recovering from that! Wow, is THAT a difference from a natural delivery!), and just trying to readjust and get back into some semblance of a schedule again. The Lord has been so good to us, and we are so thankful for our newest addition to our family! :-) The kids have been great with him and we are slowly all adjusting to being a family of 5, with three kids ages four and under! ;-) In 2 more days we add a puppy to the mix - will blog on that later! ;-)
I thought I'd be more nervous, but I wasn't. As the time drew closer to surgery, I sent Rich to grab a quick bite of supper so he'd be stable with blood sugar for the surgery. I lay there, trying NOT to be jealous that he was feasting while I was starving. Around 7:30, when I was supposed to be getting prepped for surgery, we were told that there was a woman in labor next door to me that had been pushing for 2 hours and was nearing that "emergency c-section" stage of the game. I totally understood but was still a bit bummed that we'd have to wait. Our hospital has 2 O.R.s specifically for c-sections but they always keep one open when doing a "scheduled" c-section in case of an emergency, so this emergency c-section would tie up the "open" room. Time ticked on. Of course, as luck would have it, I started to contract every 2 minutes right around 8 p.m. It became quite uncomfortable as they came crashing in one on top of the other and growing in intensity with each minute. Especially disheartening is when you know you are contracting and it will NOT yield a baby. I grew nervous b/c if I progressed rapidly with him still breech, we were in danger of the cord being delivered. The nurse came in and quickly gave me meds to STOP contracting - a first for me. At this time, I also started to become increasingly nauseated. My 39 weeks of nausea was getting OLD, and I knew I was going to continue to feel nasty until I was allowed to drink or eat something. When my stomach is empty while pregnant, I start to vomit repeatedly until I can pop meds and some crackers and water. That wasn't an option. Finally, after ANOTHER emergency c-section that went ahead of me, we were prepped for surgery. Rich was given his scrubs and I was escorted to the O.R. It was a little after 10 p.m. Walking to the O.R. was one of the weirdest feelings in the world. I felt like it was a cross between a bad dream and a television show. I have NEVER had surgery...in fact, the only times I've ever been a patient in a hospital is when I had Cae and Matty, and I had certainly never seen an operating room except on t.v. As we walked into the room, I was starting to get nervous. Seeing such a sterile, COLD (holy cow, was it FREEZING in there!), huge room with a bed in the middle, bright lights, and tables of sharp looking instruments started to make the heart pound. Maybe I wasn't as "mentally/emotionally prepared" as I thought?
Thankfully, my doctors (there were 2 in there), nurses, and anesthesiologist was AWESOME. I almost giggled - they had their own music playlist going, and I got my spinal block to the Black Eyed Peas singing. Later it went to Taylor Swift and when they were delivering Levi, it was Sarah McClaughlin's "I Will Remember You" crooning (actually caught part of it on video when Rich videotaped Levi being pulled out). Thankfully the spinal block IMMEDIATELY started making me feel all warm and cozy - I could hardly get fully on the table before everything went numb. The nerves started to calm and they continued to prep for surgery while I waited for Rich to come. Just as the nurse said, "if you start to feel nauseated..." I immediately felt like, "OH NO! I'm going to HURL!" She barely got the puke dish there in time. I threw up twice before the rapid injection of anti-nausea meds kicked in. Funny thing...right before my surgery, they gave me this NASTY stuff to drink that was supposed to keep me from vomiting. Guess what I threw up? Yep...those meds. :-) They started to infuse my I.V. with stronger anti-nausea meds...but the bad side effect was that they made me SUPER tired and loopy. I almost fell asleep before Rich came in. I could tell he was nervous - he doesn't do well with needles, blood, etc... so this was totally out of his league. I kept telling him in the room before they took me away, "Babe, PLEASE don't look. Don't stand up or anything...they will tell you when Levi is ready to come out so you can capture that but don't look!"
Then, as soon as Rich was seated, the procedure began. My last worry melted away when they cut into me and I felt nothing but what felt like someone rubbing my stomach. It seems like it didn't take very long at all before they had him. He was so far up that they were REALLY tugging to get him out - I thought I was going to fall off of the table! they finally got him out and we heard this tiny little squeak of a cry...then silence. It was 11:04 p.m...just 56 minutes away from being born on my beloved aunt's birthday! ;-)
They brought Levi past us and showed him to us briefly before taking him to the warmer that was still in my line of vision. He looked so different than my other babies b/c he was covered in blood and so still! We asked, "Is he okay?" b/c he was so very limp. As he lay there on the warmer, unmoving, I started to get a little nervous but no one was rushing, no codes were being called (like what happened with Caelynn's arrival)...then they brought out a little oxgyen pump, covered his mouth with the mouth piece, and started pumping air into him. I wanted to cry seeing his little chest rise and fall...and then we saw him start to twitch and then the crying started. :-) Such a beautiful cry! He didn't stop for quite some time - he was MAD! :-) I felt such relief and such overwhelming fatigue that I closed my eyes and dozed off until they had him all cleaned up. Then they brought him over and let Rich hold him while I rubbed his cheeks and gave him kisses. During this time I also threw up again once or twice - blast this cursed sensitive stomach of mine!
Soon it was time for him to go to the nursery for all of the fun stuff like weighing him, cleaning him up more fully, and getting a small feeding since I couldn't nurse him until after I made it through recovery and was back in my room. That was probably the hardest part of having a c-section. I missed being able to hold my baby right away, but I was so thankful that they let Rich go with Levi so at least one of us was still with him! My secret worry during the c-section was that his lungs wouldn't be quite stable enough and thus have to go to the NICU as some babies do. Praise the Lord that Levi was healthy and well!
After the final stitch up on the inside and being "glued" on the outside, I went to recovery, where of course I threw up a few more times and also slept. I made it back to my room and back to Levi around 1 a.m. or so. That time of seeing him was so sweet!
I won't bore anyone with the recovery part of the c-section. That Saturday was hard - I felt really lousy and wasn't able to move my legs or feet for quite some time and when I finally could and they had me try to get out of bed and on my feet, I wanted to punch someone. By the next day, though, I felt MUCH better. I was by myself a lot of the day while Rich went to pick up our kids and took care of them before coming to visit so I was on my own more with taking care of Levi. By Sunday, I wanted to go home. I was actually medically cleared to leave, as was Levi, so we went home a day earlier than scheduled. I don't rest well in the hospital. It's bad enough being up so often to nurse a baby but when you finally get to sleep, only to be interrupted by a nurse or orderly to get blood drawn or check on the baby, it makes resting almost impossible.
The past 2 weeks have been super busy with going from a family of 4 to a family of 5, recovering from a c-section (still recovering from that! Wow, is THAT a difference from a natural delivery!), and just trying to readjust and get back into some semblance of a schedule again. The Lord has been so good to us, and we are so thankful for our newest addition to our family! :-) The kids have been great with him and we are slowly all adjusting to being a family of 5, with three kids ages four and under! ;-) In 2 more days we add a puppy to the mix - will blog on that later! ;-)
The Arrival of Levi...Part #1
It has been quite some time since I last blogged about anything. I felt like we got sabotaged. As soon as I'd start catching up on an ever-growing list of chores to do before Levi arrived, one of us would get sick and put everything on hold. This pregnancy also wiped me out physically more than my other two pregnancies. I must be getting old! :-) I'm praying that now that Levi has arrived and is starting to fall into a schedule that I will be able to write more frequently!
For each of my children, I wrote their "birth story" so I felt like I should probably get Levi's out there before I totally forgot in my sleep-deprived, fog-induced state! ;-)
My original due date was Friday, September 14th. However, I've never gone into labor with my children. Caelynn was induced a week after her due date, and Matthew was induced a week before my due date because of some preeclampsia issues and rising blood pressure that was already on the "high/dangerous" end for pregnant women. This pregnancy I didn't have those blood pressure issues like the other two, but I faced a new dilemma...Breech Baby. For 37 weeks Levi was breech inside of the belly - which is why my stomach looked absolutely HUGE especially closer to the end. He was a 'transverse breech', which means that he was laying horizontally in my stomach with his head on my left side and his little adorable rear on my right side. As we drew towards the end of the pregnancy, I started to panic because I knew what would happen if he stayed breech. A c-section.
I started researching how to "turn" a breech baby and started implementing the little "tricks", which included leaning on my elbows on the floor while my knees and lower body stayed on the couch. Let me just tell you - NOT the most attractive or comfortable position when you are 9 months pregnant! I would then invert my body while lying on a wooden plank with a bag of frozen mixed veggies above where his head was and a heating pad where I wanted him to move to - the experts say that the baby gets annoyed by the cold and moves towards the warmth. Whatever...it worked like a charm. I went into my 37 week appointment to be told, "He moved! He is head down!" I was thrilled. But...I was told that his head wasn't engaged in the pelvis and thus wasn't ready for labor yet. So, I started sitting/bouncing on my exercise ball to encourage his little body to fully get into position and get ready to have this baby! At 38 weeks, I was told that he was still head down but STILL not engaged. Grrr! I was ready to be done being pregnant. My mom was getting her plane ticket to come out and help me, and I was done with the daily vomiting (which began to get worse again as the pregnancy was about to come to a close), the joint pain, and being unable to do very much. My induction was scheduled for Friday, September 7th at 9:00 a.m. I was thrilled!
That last week I worked like a fiend. The house was cleaned top to bottom, sheets changed, wash completely finished, ironing done, and fridge/freezer stocked with goodies, treats, meals, etc... Friday morning rolled around, and I was PSYCHED. But, at the back of my mind, I had a feeling that this labor/delivery would prove very different than my other two, and I couldn't shake that feeling. After dropping Cae and Matty off at our dear friend's house, we headed to the hospital and got checked in. After getting on my gown and hopping into the labor/delivery bed, I was told that I still wasn't even close to having that baby's head engaged. However, my blood pressure was back into that "high/dangerous" level so they told me it was VERY good I was there to have this baby and resolve that blood pressure issue! My fear was that he would follow in his big bro's footsteps and have a huge head...and thus it would be too late to be able to deliver him naturally. They did an ultrasound to confirm that he was still head down...and he was. They started me on a very light induction process, and we settled in for a long day. At noon, nothing had changed - still only 1 cm dilated (I had been that way for 3 weeks already) so they allowed me to have a light lunch.
During this time I had nurses CONSTANTLY coming in to fix the heart monitor - Levi was my most active baby in the womb and was proving evasive AGAIN for those dear nurses! As soon as they'd find his heartbeat and leave the room, he'd move and they'd lose him again! At 3 p.m. the charge nurse came in to fix the monitor and as she felt my stomach, she said, "He's breech!" I assured her, "No...he turned at 37 weeks and they confirmed via ultrasound this morning that he is still head down." One thing I've learned...don't argue with an experienced nurse. She could tell by feeling that he had turned AGAIN...so in came the ob/gyns, 4 nurses that had been dealing with me, and the ultrasound machine - only to show that our little Mr. Evasive Levi had indeed decided to turn back to his transverse breech position. He was also VERY high - almost up to my rib cage, as if to say, "I am NOT coming out of here and you will have to do your worst to get me out!!!" At that point, it was "game over" as the doctors told me. Breech at labor/delivery means a c-section and I fully complied. I know some women still try to delivery while the baby is breech. We read up on it when we were still facing Levi being breech, and it was something Rich and I both agreed on - if he was breech at delivery, it was a c-section all the way. In fact, at the hospital we were at, none of the ob/gyns legally allow it - there are so many dangers to it that they all refuse to vaginally deliver a breech baby. Without boring anyone, the biggest issue is the umbilical cord being delivered first, which can pinch and thus starve the baby of the necessary blood/oxygen needed. Severe brain damage and death can occur. I already had a baby with a triple wrapped cord around the neck and watched my baby get whisked away from me, gray in the face and silent...there wasn't a chance on earth I'd even CHANCE doing anything that could result in an issue with my baby.
Now, this was actually something I had been praying about. Like I said before, I had a feeling near the end of the pregnancy (even after he turned to a head-down position), that this labor/delivery would be entirely different than my other two children. I had not only mentally/emotionally "prepared" myself for a possible c-section, but I was actually going back and forth in my mind to just ask for one. (If you are wondering how a person "mentally" prepared for a c-section, remember that I am very much a "Type A" personality. I don't like surprises. I want to know EXACTLY what is going to happen, so I read up on what happens in a c-section, the steps that are taken, the process, the recovery, the healing time, etc... Yes, I'm a nerd. I know that. :-)) I had friends tell me horror stories of c-sections but I had also had two very LONG and very intense natural labors and deliveries with my older kids, so the c-section didn't really scare me since I'd had tearing and stitches, heads stuck, and epidurals fall out or not work, as well as trying to deliver a baby while puking my guts out. The day of the induction, they told me that I could ask for a c-section and they would grant it, but none of them were in favor of it simply because it was my last baby and my other two children were able to be delivered naturally, meaning that my body was conducive to having a more natural experience. As the day progressed on and on, I was starting to talk to Rich about, "Why don't I just do a c-section? I'm not progressing and our kids are at a friend's house and who knows how long this will take..." I began praying, "Lord, please make it very clear what You would have us to do and what would be best for our precious Levi and help me to be okay with whatever You have for us." And then...as He faithfully does, He made the answer very clear. At 3 p.m. I was told, "This is going to end in a c-section, sweetie. We are scheduling it for 8 p.m. tonight."
For each of my children, I wrote their "birth story" so I felt like I should probably get Levi's out there before I totally forgot in my sleep-deprived, fog-induced state! ;-)
My original due date was Friday, September 14th. However, I've never gone into labor with my children. Caelynn was induced a week after her due date, and Matthew was induced a week before my due date because of some preeclampsia issues and rising blood pressure that was already on the "high/dangerous" end for pregnant women. This pregnancy I didn't have those blood pressure issues like the other two, but I faced a new dilemma...Breech Baby. For 37 weeks Levi was breech inside of the belly - which is why my stomach looked absolutely HUGE especially closer to the end. He was a 'transverse breech', which means that he was laying horizontally in my stomach with his head on my left side and his little adorable rear on my right side. As we drew towards the end of the pregnancy, I started to panic because I knew what would happen if he stayed breech. A c-section.
I started researching how to "turn" a breech baby and started implementing the little "tricks", which included leaning on my elbows on the floor while my knees and lower body stayed on the couch. Let me just tell you - NOT the most attractive or comfortable position when you are 9 months pregnant! I would then invert my body while lying on a wooden plank with a bag of frozen mixed veggies above where his head was and a heating pad where I wanted him to move to - the experts say that the baby gets annoyed by the cold and moves towards the warmth. Whatever...it worked like a charm. I went into my 37 week appointment to be told, "He moved! He is head down!" I was thrilled. But...I was told that his head wasn't engaged in the pelvis and thus wasn't ready for labor yet. So, I started sitting/bouncing on my exercise ball to encourage his little body to fully get into position and get ready to have this baby! At 38 weeks, I was told that he was still head down but STILL not engaged. Grrr! I was ready to be done being pregnant. My mom was getting her plane ticket to come out and help me, and I was done with the daily vomiting (which began to get worse again as the pregnancy was about to come to a close), the joint pain, and being unable to do very much. My induction was scheduled for Friday, September 7th at 9:00 a.m. I was thrilled!
That last week I worked like a fiend. The house was cleaned top to bottom, sheets changed, wash completely finished, ironing done, and fridge/freezer stocked with goodies, treats, meals, etc... Friday morning rolled around, and I was PSYCHED. But, at the back of my mind, I had a feeling that this labor/delivery would prove very different than my other two, and I couldn't shake that feeling. After dropping Cae and Matty off at our dear friend's house, we headed to the hospital and got checked in. After getting on my gown and hopping into the labor/delivery bed, I was told that I still wasn't even close to having that baby's head engaged. However, my blood pressure was back into that "high/dangerous" level so they told me it was VERY good I was there to have this baby and resolve that blood pressure issue! My fear was that he would follow in his big bro's footsteps and have a huge head...and thus it would be too late to be able to deliver him naturally. They did an ultrasound to confirm that he was still head down...and he was. They started me on a very light induction process, and we settled in for a long day. At noon, nothing had changed - still only 1 cm dilated (I had been that way for 3 weeks already) so they allowed me to have a light lunch.
During this time I had nurses CONSTANTLY coming in to fix the heart monitor - Levi was my most active baby in the womb and was proving evasive AGAIN for those dear nurses! As soon as they'd find his heartbeat and leave the room, he'd move and they'd lose him again! At 3 p.m. the charge nurse came in to fix the monitor and as she felt my stomach, she said, "He's breech!" I assured her, "No...he turned at 37 weeks and they confirmed via ultrasound this morning that he is still head down." One thing I've learned...don't argue with an experienced nurse. She could tell by feeling that he had turned AGAIN...so in came the ob/gyns, 4 nurses that had been dealing with me, and the ultrasound machine - only to show that our little Mr. Evasive Levi had indeed decided to turn back to his transverse breech position. He was also VERY high - almost up to my rib cage, as if to say, "I am NOT coming out of here and you will have to do your worst to get me out!!!" At that point, it was "game over" as the doctors told me. Breech at labor/delivery means a c-section and I fully complied. I know some women still try to delivery while the baby is breech. We read up on it when we were still facing Levi being breech, and it was something Rich and I both agreed on - if he was breech at delivery, it was a c-section all the way. In fact, at the hospital we were at, none of the ob/gyns legally allow it - there are so many dangers to it that they all refuse to vaginally deliver a breech baby. Without boring anyone, the biggest issue is the umbilical cord being delivered first, which can pinch and thus starve the baby of the necessary blood/oxygen needed. Severe brain damage and death can occur. I already had a baby with a triple wrapped cord around the neck and watched my baby get whisked away from me, gray in the face and silent...there wasn't a chance on earth I'd even CHANCE doing anything that could result in an issue with my baby.
Now, this was actually something I had been praying about. Like I said before, I had a feeling near the end of the pregnancy (even after he turned to a head-down position), that this labor/delivery would be entirely different than my other two children. I had not only mentally/emotionally "prepared" myself for a possible c-section, but I was actually going back and forth in my mind to just ask for one. (If you are wondering how a person "mentally" prepared for a c-section, remember that I am very much a "Type A" personality. I don't like surprises. I want to know EXACTLY what is going to happen, so I read up on what happens in a c-section, the steps that are taken, the process, the recovery, the healing time, etc... Yes, I'm a nerd. I know that. :-)) I had friends tell me horror stories of c-sections but I had also had two very LONG and very intense natural labors and deliveries with my older kids, so the c-section didn't really scare me since I'd had tearing and stitches, heads stuck, and epidurals fall out or not work, as well as trying to deliver a baby while puking my guts out. The day of the induction, they told me that I could ask for a c-section and they would grant it, but none of them were in favor of it simply because it was my last baby and my other two children were able to be delivered naturally, meaning that my body was conducive to having a more natural experience. As the day progressed on and on, I was starting to talk to Rich about, "Why don't I just do a c-section? I'm not progressing and our kids are at a friend's house and who knows how long this will take..." I began praying, "Lord, please make it very clear what You would have us to do and what would be best for our precious Levi and help me to be okay with whatever You have for us." And then...as He faithfully does, He made the answer very clear. At 3 p.m. I was told, "This is going to end in a c-section, sweetie. We are scheduling it for 8 p.m. tonight."
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Where have we been?!?!?!?
For anyone wondering why in the WORLD it has taken so long to have another blog post (all 3 of you!)...I apologize!
The past few months have been a whirlwind around our house and I will try to briefly (or not so briefly) catch up!
In March, we found out that Rich's company was sending him to a week long conference in Washington, D.C. Since my home town is only about a 3.5-4 hour drive from there, the kids and I quickly got our plane tickets, packed our bags, and came with! It was SO WONDERFUL to be home for about a week and see my family. We are all incredibly close on my mom's side and the last time I had been home, it was Thanksgiving of 2010 and Matty was just a few months old. Rich drove us up to my mom's place and the kids and I stayed there while he was at his work conference. We had an awesome time (and my family spoiled my kids ROTTEN!) and then Rich, myself, and the kids went to D.C. for about 2 days of just touring and sight-seeing. It was great! Gorgeous weather, cherry blossoms in full bloom...absolutely lovely! We didn't get to do nearly the things we wanted to - children don't care very much for museums! :-) It was our first and only family vacation pretty much ever (outside of going to see family). The plane ride with 2 little kids and a pregnant mommy, though...not doing that again for a LONG TIME!
After we arrived home, the pregnancy nesting really came in full force. I grew up with a mother who faithfully spring cleaned her house from top to bottom every single year. I had never been able to fully do that to our home here so I was DETERMINED to get it done before I get too big, too tired, or restricted. I am STILL spring cleaning but slowly getting there. So, the past month or so of being MIA on here, I've been cleaning out kitchen cabinets, closets, drawers, etc... I probably watch "Hoarders" too much - I'm in a major purging mood. I can't stand clutter and "knick-knacks" of any kind so I've been pretty strict on my "get rid of" pile. It's very freeing but taking FOREVER! As soon as I make some headway, something comes up (or little hands are undoing everything I'm trying to clean and organize!). I came back home and soon we were battling some bad colds. Then allergy season hit early in Colorado, and I was in bed for a day or two with a horrible sinus infection with very little I could take due to the pregnancy. Finally back on my feet, the pregnancy exhaustion hit again. Some days I could hardly make it to the kids' nap time before I'd have to collapse on the couch and just rest or sleep. This is probably the worst I've ever had it. Everything is starting earlier - Braxton Hicks, exhaustion, aches and pains, expanding rapidly...And of course I have a few KIND HEARTED women at my church that act like I am the largest pregnant woman they have ever seen. Add to that my defense of "I've actually only gained 4 pounds" and you'd think I said I sprouted wings and a 2nd head. I'm getting close to seriously hitting someone.
So, that is what is going on. Since finding out that our precious little baby is another boy, I've been pulling out all of the baby clothes out of our back storage/guest room in the basement and sorting. The good boy clothes are all washed in Dreft (HEAVENLY SCENT!!! It's almost as good as smelling baby lotion!), line dried, and sorted into age appropriate bags. The used things are in bags for Good Will. Then all of the girl clothes are being sorted into "donate" and "sell" bags. This is our last baby for our family (9 months of vomiting x 3 children = a lot of stress on the body!) so the dreams of another baby girl are over. I've been incredibly, INCREDIBLY emotional with this pregnancy. I never used to cry...now the stupidest little thing sets me off. I'd be sorting Cae's old newborn onesies and just burst into tears. I see a Pampers commercial and bawl. I look through Cae's baby album and sob. It's borderline ridiculous and sometimes I'm laughing at myself as I'm crying. My poor husband - he's not used to this side of me! ;-)
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
"The Girl in the Green Sweater" by Krystyna Chiger
Last week I read this amazing book which I was told about by a dear friend from church. (Thanks again, Jenny!!!) This book is an absolute jewel. As I've mentioned before, I am drawn to books that deal with the events surrounding WWII. This book deals with a different aspect of WWII than I had read before.
Krystyna is a young girl when WWII erupts in her home town of Lvov, Poland. She has a little brother that she quickly has to learn to care for and help hide while her parents are forced to work long hours each day. Eventually, the family receives word that the final liquidation of their ghetto will occur, and the family takes to the sewers under the very streets their murderers walk. Her father, having been preparing for this last resort situation, had established a contact through a Polish sewer worker to bring them daily food for a steep price. When the final liquidation happens, many Jews pour into the sewers, spoiling some carefully laid plans. Eventually the family, along with a group of other Jews, settles and fall into a "routine" of sorts. In these damp, disgusting, rat-infested conditions, Krystyna and her family live for fourteen months. Their tale is one of true courage and the human spirit's will to survive. READ THIS BOOK...one of the best memoirs I've read thus far!
"The Avion My Uncle Flew" by Cyrus Fisher
Falling behind on all of my posts here! More to come soon!
I wanted to quickly write up about this book...on my quest of reading 30 books by December 8th, 2012, and this makes book #10! ;-) This is a Newbery Honor book that I bought a while ago and just never read. It's pretty cute - it deals with a young boy (around the age of 11, I believe?) during WWII. His father returns from war and informs his family that they are moving to Paris briefly to help with some post-war work that he is contracted to do through the government. The boy, Johnny Littlehorn, is NOT happy to be leaving their Wyoming ranch but his mother, originally from France, is thrilled. Long story short, Johnny moves with his uncle (mother's brother) to a small village in France where his mother was raised. A thickening plot ensues as Johnny finds himself being followed by a Nazi spy. At the same time, Johnny's uncle is working on an avion (type of small airplane/glider) that he developed during the war. Can his uncle be successful before the last of his money runs out? Will Johnny figure out who is following him and why? Read it to find out!
Friday, March 9, 2012
"Financial Peace Revisited" by Dave Ramsey
Yes, ANOTHER book post! I finished about 3 books this past week, but this book I had actually been reading since around November. I may have mentioned this before, but Rich and I enrolled in the online "Financial Peace University" course around November. For the package we paid for, we received 16 weeks of online access to the online videos for the course, as well as downloading the workbook that accompanies the course (and the audio version of all of the video sessions), and they also send you Dave's book that is supplemental reading for the course.
A little background info - Dave Ramsey is a Christian financial expert whose basic underlying goal is to help every man and woman get out of debt, get an emergency fund, get a savings plan, have a secure and substantial retirement fund, and be successful in life.
Rich and I took this course together, and I HIGHLY recommend it for everyone - whether you are single, married, divorced, old, young...you will benefit! One thing that was never really touched on in our early marriage classes were finances and the importance of being on the same page. As Dave Ramsey says, in every marriage there is almost always one "free spirit" and one "nerd." I'm sure you can guess which one I am and which one Rich is. :-) That affects everything from spending to budgeting to...well, EVERYTHING. I wish we would have done this sooner. Because, just like in raising children, buying a house, or any other major decision, finances MUST be done together and both spouses must be on the same page in order to be successful. It CANNOT be the philosophy of "one person handles it all and the other one is in the dark."
I won't go into detail, but as we moved to Colorado, grew our family, etc... we were stupid and ran into debt. The largest of our debt is a personal loan my mom extended to us for house repairs. Buying a "fixer upper" is fantastic if you get a great deal and can do most of the work yourself, which is true for us. However, if I could go back and redo it, I would have NOT taken a loan and just "lived" with the mess and issues for a while longer and paid cash for everything. Anyway, for a long time this debt has bothered me b/c I never had debt. Even living in the 2nd most expensive (or maybe most expensive) state in the U.S. (Hawaii) while making only $19,000...I always lived on a tight budget and never carried a credit card balance or debt of any kind. It BOTHERS me to have debt. So, I am VERY thankful for this course! :-)
The book is fabulous and even if you cannot take the Financial Peace University course, you need to read this book. Even if you aren't in debt...even if you already have a good savings account - READ THE BOOK. Dave sets up 7 easy steps for financial success.
The first step is to have a $1,000 emergency fund. Once this is set up, you CUT UP EVERY CREDIT CARD. Then you pay off all of your debts in a structured way, which Dave calls the "Debt Snowball", starting with the smallest debt first. Then, once you get rid of all debt (outside of your mortgage), you save 3-6 months of money that will pay all of your bills, so that in case something should happen, you know you have that safety net to carry you through until something else comes along. VERY SMART - being the constant worrier I am, having safety nets are huge for me. Once you have that done, you start working simultaneously on saving for retirement, investing, and also saving for your child's college.
This course was a major blessing to us, and we have learned so much. We even learned some great things to help our children learn at an early age the importance of "give, save, spend" and how to raise them to be excellent stewards of what God has given them. This isn't a "get rich quick" course. It is all about making your money work for you, being a good steward of what God has given you, and later being able to give back to others as God has blessed.
I won't share our level of debt because I know my husband would KILL Me - and it's different for everyone. But I will say that we implemented our new "super strict" budget on January 1st. I set up our budget and did all of the math since I'm the nerdy "I love this stuff!" type of person but had Rich go over it all with me. We had 3 areas of debt and with the budget we live on (Rich has a good job but we aren't making heaps of money, we will soon have 3 kids, and I don't "work" at a "paying job" to stay home with our children right now), I figured it would take us 4.7 years to pay everything off, with the first debt in the "debt snowball" taking about 19 months to pay off. The Lord started to immediately bless us with a completely UNEXPECTED bonus, a job promotion for Rich, and just a few extra things here and there. What should have taken 19 months looks like it will be gone in 6 months. That's right...6 months. We are psyched to see all that God is doing and is teaching us!
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